


Eat Your Vegetables

by CantstopTwInKLinG



Series: Random Attack on Titan One Shots [2]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Attempt at Humor, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Humor, Weird Plot Shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-14
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:53:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28068837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CantstopTwInKLinG/pseuds/CantstopTwInKLinG
Summary: Sasha loves potatoes, so why not write a one shot about her and a potato
Relationships: Sasha Blouse/Connie Springer
Series: Random Attack on Titan One Shots [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2056143
Comments: 1
Kudos: 7





	Eat Your Vegetables

**Author's Note:**

> The characters do not belong to me, and any clashes in name or incident is completely coincidental. This is purely fictional

**Om nom nom nom.**

It was another normal day of chugging down 3kg of potatoes for Sasha, she just couldn't stop.

The potatoes were soft and fluffy, with a little bit of butter it makes the perfect dish to ever exist.

Finishing her 24th potato of the day, Sasha still felt unsatisfied.

"Maybe I'll just cook, 2 more, no wait- maybe 5, yea just 5 more," Sasha thought as she picked up a few potatoes from her potato basket.

"Hey! Put me down!" A sharp voicw suddenly popped out of nowhere and scared the shit out of Sasha.

"WhO– whAT WAS THAT?" She shrieked in horror and grabbed the closest knife, trying to defend herself.

However, no one was in the room.

"Hm, that's weird. I'm probably just hallucinati-"

"I'm here!" The voice resonated in the room once again and Sasha was surprised again.

Following the voice, Sasha realised that it came from none other than the potato in her hand.

"Huh?" She stared at the potato in confusion.

Her eyes widened as the potato suddenly grew out a pair of eyes and a mouth.

"EW what the heck? Is the potato possessed?" Sasha screamed and threw the potato toward the wall, still shocked at what was happening.

"Ouch that hurt!" The poato shouted again and rolled towards Sasha's feet.

"Pick me up!" Said the potato and Sasha obeyed, because she loved potatoes.

"Um so...are you going to explain what's happening?" Sasha asked, cupping the freaky potato in her hands, trying not to freak out.

"Kiss me,"

"What?" Sasha asked. She must've heard that wrongly.

"Kiss me. I said. On the lips," the potato said and Sasha gagged.

"Ew, kiss you? A potato? You're a pervert," she said.

"I don't know how to explain this, but if you kiss me, I will turn back into a human," the potato explained.

However, Sasha was still reluctant. How could she simply believe what a possessed perverted potato says? She was definitely not willing to give up her first kiss on a potato.

"Nope, there's no way I would do that, but I can find you a small place to stay at, and we will see how things go," Sasha reasoned, and the potato could only sigh and agree.

"My name is Connie, by the way," the potato said.

"Connie, sounds like a corny name, even though you're a potato," Sasha said and only earned a glare from Connie.

"Not funny,"

"Hahaha, okay sorry sorry. My name is Sasha! I'm the best hunter in my village and I love to eat potatoes," Sasha introduced herself.

Sasha started to make a small basket with a tiny blanket inside so that Connie could rest.

Night time arrived and Connie snuggled up in his own little compartment Sasha made for him. It wasn't what he expected but it was good enough for now.

"How did you become a potato, Connie?" Sasha asked while lying on her bed.

"It's a curse. A witch casted a spell on me and I became a potato, if I don't get kissed before I sprout... I may... Turn into a potato forever," Connie said, his voice filled with sadness.

Sasha pondered for awhile, kind of feeling bad for Connie.

As Sasha contemplated whether if she should help Connie, she slowly fell asleep...

■■■■■

The next morning, Sasha woke up and saw Connie peacefully sleeping in the basket.

She woke Connie up by slapping him and Connie groaned.

"Hey Connie, if you're a potato, do you still need to eat food?" Sasha asked.

"Food not really, but I need some water. Its not necessary, but since I still have human feelings I feel thirsty every now and then," Connie explained and Sasha nodded and started to prepare her breakfast.

Once she was done, she also fetched a cup of water for Connie.

She walked towards where Connie lay and was going to hand him the water.

Unfortunately (or not), she tripped over herself and spilled all the water, including her own breakfast.

**Smooch.**

A pink smoke started to fill the room as a beam of light shone from the basket.

A young, handsome, naked, bald man appeared in front of Sasha, as their lips connected.

They stared into each other's eyes before they both freaked out.

"AHHHHAJZJKSNDJA," screamed Sasha.

"OOOAHQJNQNAHWGGA," screeched Connie.

They both got off from each other after a few moments, processing what was happening.

"I- you- you're really a human!" Sasha exclaimed as she eyed Connie in front of her.

"I-I told you already! Anyway bring me some clothes!" Connie blushed and tried to hide his face under the tiny blanket that he was once propped in.

"O-okay," Sasha scrambled and quickly got Connie some clothes.

After they settled down, Connie asked Sasha if she wanted to head back to his kingdom with him.

"But my father, and the horses, my potatoes, are all here," Sasha sighed sadly, she really wanted to visit Connie's kingdom but did not want to leave what she had behind.

"Well that's simple, just bring everything here to my kingdom! We have plenty of space," Connie said.

Sasha's expression immediately brightened, "We can do that?"

"Of course, there's nothing I can't do," Connie said proudly.

A few days later, they had everything packed. Sasha and Connie took a carriage back to Connie's kingdom ― the Kingdom of Vegetabletopia.

"Wow, this place is so amazing! There are so much vegetables, and so much meat, I could feast here everyday," Sasha said in excitement, looking at her surrounding.

There were fairies around her, sprinkling some magical pixie dust on the crops so they would taste amazing.

"This is amazing Connie, I'm so glad I came here," Sasha smiled and thanked Connie.

■■■■■

_5 years later..._

"You may now kiss the bride," the Priest said.

Sasha was in a beautiful wedding dress made from potatoes, and Connie was wearing potato suit.

Together, they stood on the stage and faced each other, with all the citizens of the kingdom clapping for their marriage.

They kissed and waved at the citizens.

And then, Queen Sasha and King Connie lived happily ever after, enjoying potato and meat buffets everyday, giving birth to potato babies, and just chillin'.

"Hey Connie, let's have another potato baby," Sasha said.

"No more please, we already have 14 to deal with."

-The End-


End file.
